These Letters to Santa Prove That Kids Really Are Next Level Hilarious

Can you just bend the rules for me, Santa?

There’s nothing worse than watching all of your friends receive gifts, which is probably why this Jewish kid decided to try their luck. Just don’t give them coal please, Santa?

Wanna come to my birthday party, Santa?

Right, that’s it. This year we are writing a letter to Santa, and the only thing we’re putting on our list is to have a best friend like Ryan. Amber is so lucky.

Pig, Great Dane, Chocolate Labrador, New President

This kid knows what’s up. Although we can’t imagine Santa would be able to stretch to “cool knives,” we do hope he can tick some of these off the list for Jackson.

Merry Christmas, Feliz Navidad, and Joyeux Noël

This kid has a good point. What language does Santa speak? Is he bilingual? Does he have his own language? Does he have the elves translate the letters? Hopefully, they know one of these 16.

Don’t be a half-a-job Santa, bring the batteries

There’s nothing worse than receiving a battery-powered gift on Christmas day and not having the batteries to go with it. How do you cope with a toy that you can’t play? Answer: You can’t.

The circle of life can be a cruel mistress

Did anyone else’s heart just break? You probably heard ours from a mile away. While we all want Simba’s dad to wake up, we just don’t know if Santa has the powers to do that.

Dear Santa, here’s a very specific URL for this year

Let’s be honest; we have no idea what we would do without technology in our lives. This little kid obviously feels the same, because they sent Santa the URL for their wish-list.

You don’t want to know what those consequences are

There are certain ways to ask Santa for Christmas presents, and scaring him into submission is not one of those ways. However, if this does work, we will happily buy this kid a second pony.

Now, class, I want you to write your letters to Santa

If you have no concept of writing a letter to Santa, we can imagine it must be pretty difficult. In this kid’s defence, they did technically write their letters to Santa.

Correcting the mistake of the first letter

Have you ever written your letter to Santa and then realized it was wrong? This kid simply decided to write a revised letter, because he needed $29, not $28. You’ve gotta get it right.

Those 10 ½ years really meant a lot, “Santa”

There comes a time in every child’s life when they realize something isn’t quite right about Santa, and it’s always a sad day when that happens. Because of this, Ava wanted to say thank you.

Short and snappy, just like the pizza delivery we expect

When it comes to your Christmas list, it’s important to write your deepest and darkest desires. This kid speaks to all of us with this one. After all, pizza is life.

Sure, life’s alright, but it could be better

This little girl isn’t holding back when it comes to their Christmas list. They want all the usual things like a single shoe and a jar, but they also want a better life!

Well, this little kid obviously asked for awkwardness for Christmas

Spellings are important, kids. While this kid was being super polite when they left this thank you note for Santa; they probably should have consulted a dictionary beforehand. Just a thought.

Shawn, speaking for the whole entire world

Can we just photocopy this and send it out en masse to Santa Claus every single year? Because we’d also like to “meat” Leonardo DiCaprio in person. We’d also be so grateful. Thanks, Santa.

For Christmas, I hate my mom and dad

Learning that your parents have been lying to you throughout your childhood is a hard pill to swallow, and this kid wasn’t going to ignore the lies. They had to let the anger out.

He may look sweet, but he is the devil!

When asking for gifts, it’s always good to ease in slowly and give some kind of reasoning. Evan definitely did this, and we think that’s reason enough to give him a football.

Just don’t think about not getting a puppy, Emily

We’re not crying; you’re crying. After much thought and deliberation, Emily decided that she didn’t want to be sad any longer. You can take the nine other items, Santa. She just wants a puppy.

A Christmas letter, from a future doctor

When you ask your child to write a Christmas letter, you expect a few scribbles here and there. We bet this kid’s parents didn’t expect this. Unless the child simply wants scribbles.

A few crissmiss requests from Juan Pablo

Juan Pablo knows exactly what he wants, and he wants his life to be easier. No homework would be awesome! Perhaps he should also ask for a spellchecker, too. Just in case of an emergency.

The yearly interrogation of Santa

When you think about it, it’s a little weird that a man breaks into our house each year to give us “gifts.” That’s why this kid wanted answers. They wanted to know what was up with this “Santa.”

As a pet? As a meal? As an ornament?

While we don’t know why Riley crossed out his name, we do know that he really knows what he wants. He wants a stuffed chicken, and he won’t take no for an answer.

It’s a give and take situation

Although Santa is a lovely guy for doing what he does for us, we’re also kinda nice to him. In fact, Kim left her games out for him! So now he has to clean her room. It’s only fair.

Is this kid okay? Do you need any help?

We’re a little concerned about the safety of this kid. He doesn’t have a house with windows? He doesn’t have food? He doesn’t want his hands to burn? Also, Paw Patrol stuff.

You always have to be specific with Santa

Santa receives millions of letters every single year, so you need to be specific. This child really wanted GTA 5, but only for the cars. No ladies of the night involved, thank you.

Elizabeth always has to make her Christmas demands

When you’re letting a strange man come into your house, you have to set some ground rules. Elizabeth knew that she didn’t want Santa to go through her stuff, so she told him.

Best not to drink and drive your sleigh

First, we left mince pies out for Santa, and now we’re letting him take a beer from the refrigerator. Luckily, Santa knew that it was best not to drink and drive his sleigh. One was great.

Let’s get down to business, Santa

It can often seem a little demanding to simply send a list of presents you want, but equally, you need to get your point across. In our opinion, this kid utilized just the right amount of chit-chat.

If at first you don’t succeed, ask just in case

Sofia really tried to be good on that Saturday, but she just couldn’t do it. It happens to us all. The most important thing is that she told the truth and asked for Santa’s help anyway.

Whatever you do, don’t mess with Jeremy

Anyone else a little scared of Jeremy? He’s either going to grow up to be the President of the United States, or he’s going to be the head of a notorious crime ring. We hope it’s the former.

I’m not calling you a liar, but… I am

Adam Lumbis is the kind of kid to really question the world. He needs proof, and we don’t blame him for that. Luckily, Santa was able to whip out his candy cane pen and signed the paper.

What kind of cookies do you want?

There’s a lot of information to take in here, but the general gist of this Santa letter is that Addisyn is a good egg. After all, she isn’t just asking for her own presents!

Dear Santa Claws, I love you

Telling someone you love them is enough to make them melt, but we have a feeling that Santa might ghost this kid after his declaration of love. $5.3 billion? Are you kidding?

The proof will soon be in the pudding

This kid knew not to ask for a huge amount for Christmas, so they gave Santa options. One of the options wouldn’t actually cost him any money, but rather a quick selfie on the LG phone.

Flying high with Eric Potts and his fish

Eric Potts doesn’t want a lot for Christmas. All he wants is two goldfish for his fish tank, and a private jet to take them on vacation when they’ve had enough of the tank.

A motion to stop body-shaming Santa

This child just wanted to let Santa know that he didn’t have to worry about them. After all, their dad has them sorted out. They also wanted to note that it’s not nice to call him “big jolly fat.”

P.S you totally rock and are so awesome

Calvin really wanted to make sure Santa knew what he wanted this year because he’s been waiting 4 to 5 years for his darn laptop. Fingers crossed he finally gets it.

Why are they all made in China?

Josh really wanted to get his question out there, so he got it published in the local newspaper. To give Josh the credit he deserves, he actually has a point. Oink Oink.

Just an ordinary pair, the other ones ripped

Don’t worry if you had to read this 50 times before realizing that this kid is really asking for a pair of tights. It took us a while. At least it won’t set Santa back too much dollar.

Love, John K. from Mrs. Thompson’s 2nd Grade

John K. just really wants to be friends with Santa. He wants to know whether he’s okay, he wants to know whether he’s friends with God, and he wants to be given $25,000!

Some people just really like ducks

When you were younger, did you ever become obsessed with a specific animal? This kid is obviously obsessed with ducks, but we really hope they are asking for duck pens. Let’s just clarify.

You don’t know the trouble I’ve had

Santa just doesn’t get it, does he? He wasn’t there, man. Life is hard, and it’s even harder when you know that the naughty and nice list doesn’t exist. It’s all empty.

From blank to not-so-real Santa

Although many kids do believe in Santa, there are others that just can’t be persuaded. When this kid was asked to write their letter to Santa, they just couldn’t keep it in. It had to come out.

You’re never too old to believe

It’s a common misconception that you grow out of believing in Santa because adults can believe too. Chris, aged 29, really does believe, and he really wants a beer. If that is Chris, that is.

Can I get a couple of things, please?

It’s hard to think of what you want for Christmas. You wrack your brain, and you begin to write. Before you know it, you’ve got a whole farm and a whole new side of paper.

Have a Merry Christmas, but don’t eat all the pies

Here’s a question: Does Santa give himself Christmas gifts? This kid really hopes he gets a lot of presents to enjoy, but also hopes that they are not edible gifts. He is fat, after all.

I’ve been waiting all year; it’s finally time!

Okay, this is one of the most adorable letters to Santa we’ve ever seen. There’s no request, there’s no insult, just pure excitement for Christmas. We feel ya, kid.

Can I have a giraffe that neighs? Thanks, Santa

Scott, aged 22, really knows what he wants. He’s been a good boy all year, and he really hopes Santa rewards him for all that hard work. Who doesn’t want a giraffe?

Bringing in the replacement Santa

Have you ever wondered whether Santa has an understudy? Well, Ella has. With such a big day at stake, she can’t afford for her day to be ruined by illness. She does only celebrate Christmas, after all.

If you can’t do it, take it easy on yourself

Some kids know that asking Santa for so much can be a burden. The elves just can’t work that fast, and it’s just not possible. In that case, tens and ones will do.

A balanced diet is a cookie and a soda in each hand

Santa Claus must really have a complex when it comes to his weight. This kid decided to help him out, and tell him to drink soda instead.

Please draw your face, complete with reindeer

It’s always a tough time when you get excluded from holiday festivities because of your faith, but Rayna didn’t want to be left out any longer. She could still get presents (right?).

You’ve always got to be organized

Some kids don’t mess about when it comes to their letters to Santa, because everything has to go to plan. So, this kid wrote what they wanted, how much it cost, and whether it was on sale. Efficient.

Santa, I just wanted you to know this important fact

Oh, what a joker! This kid is going places, and we think that place is the stage of the nearest comedy club. They just love big butts, and that’s all they wanted Santa to know.

Helping Santa get summer body ready

Everyone knows that Santa packs on the pounds over the Christmas period, but it doesn’t have to be like that. He could get skinny if he wanted to, and this kid has given him the motivation to do so.

Someone has to look out for Santa

This kid really didn’t care what they got this Christmas; they just wanted to make sure that someone was looking out for Santa and asking the big questions. How many pairs of underwear do you have?

My one wish: For Santa to tell the truth

There are some kids who want presents for Christmas, while there are other kids who just want Santa to tell the truth. They’re done with all the lies. The lies end now.

Please circle your answer, and then explain below

From the sounds of it, this kid has already had one 3D Dsi for Christmas. However, he thinks he deserves a second chance, and he hopes Santa will circle “yes” on this occasion.

You should never leave your manners at home

Most children are told to write their letters to Santa, but that doesn’t mean they can be rude about it. This child knew they had to continue being as polite as possible, please and thank you.

We all go through that six-month blip

Believing in a man you’ve never seen is hard, but Penelope soon learned her lesson and snapped out of her six-month funk. To make up for it, she gave Santa a few options when it came to his feast.

To the King of the North

If there’s one way to get in Santa’s good books, it’s to call him the “King of the North.” Perhaps now Santa will get his wrench and start repairing Jordan’s unoperational boat. It’s only fair.

Going for the gold in Walmart

There’s nothing better than getting jewelry for Christmas, and this kid really knew what she wanted. Thankfully, Santa just had to travel to the nearest Walmart to deck her out in gold.

Just one single nugget please, Santa Claus

This kid knows what’s up because does anyone really like a Turkey Christmas dinner? We’d much rather have an order of fries, a chicken nugget, and then chill out on the computer when we’re done.

I’m not trying to hurt your feelings, but you’re fat

Considering Santa has so many houses to go to, he must get pretty full up on cookies. Sully just wanted to look out for him, and keep him as healthy as possible. What a gent.

Sometimes the elves need a break too

We doubt that Santa ever sits in his chair because he’s bored, but this child has given him entertainment if he ever finds himself in that situation. Maybe he could even get him a surprise.

Beware of the dolphin mafia and buy a Stormtrooper helmet

Santa really does seem to slack sometimes, and Tyler is sick of it. He and his wife better get their act together. Otherwise, he’s going to use his dolphin call to set them on him.

Helping Santa cure diabetes, one step at a time

It’s adorable just how much people care about Santa Claus, and this is just another example of a kid who is trying to stop the untimely death of their favorite present-giver.

All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth

In 1996, Joey wrote this Christmas list, and we really hope he got almost everything on this piece of paper. Perhaps not the picture of the girl, though, because that’s a little creepy.

Communities that eat McDonald’s together stay together

Jackson didn’t want to be selfish when it came to his Christmas list, because he also wanted to help out his community. All he wanted was some nuggets because he’s lovin’ it.

A letter to put you on the naughty list

It’s always difficult when kids make a start on their Christmas lists because spelling isn’t always that important to them. Unfortunately, spelling really can make a difference when you’re trying to say “wrapped.”

All Sophie wants is to find her leggings

This year, Sophie really isn’t asking for much. She has everything she wants, and she doesn’t need any new toys. All she wants is her black leggings. Can you find them for her?

So Santa, is Krampus real?

Although Santa is one of the coolest guys in the universe, there are a few rumors about him floating about. Specifically about him with a guy called Krampus. We hope it’s not true.

I have been good because I have been good

Trying to explain why you’ve been good is such a chore. Most of the time, you’ve just been good, alright?! Now hand over the presents, punk. Don’t mess us around, or else.

I want it now, but just not right now

We have to admit, Santa Claus would be in a pickle with this one. If he did give Samantha a little sister, he would be breaking the rules. If he didn’t, he would be breaking her heart.

Dear Santa, happy Halloween!

Andie has great writing for such a small child, but we can’t help but wonder if he spent too much time on the font and not enough time on the content? So close, but yet still so far.

Is this the Christmas list of 50-year-old?

Most kids want toys and candy for Christmas, but not this kid. Instead, they want sciencey stuff, they want a water bottle, and they specifically want three ring binders. As you do.

You’ve just gotta catch them all

This kid knows exactly what he wants because Jerry would be perfectly content with getting a bulldog, a science kit, and a simple porthole to the Pokemon World. It really shouldn’t be hard.

I wish I was eating the cookies, but you can have them

It’s Christmas tradition to leave food out for Santa and his reindeer, but that doesn’t mean you’re going to do it with a smile on your face. We want the cookies!

This is part 1; part 2 is coming right up

Correct us if we’re wrong, but we have a feeling that Nathan really, really likes dinosaurs. Alternatively, he could be getting ready to build a mutant dinosaur that will devastate the earth. Either, or.

If I admit it, does it still make me naughty?

We all want a puppy for Christmas. This kid especially wants a puppy, but they can’t help but wonder if the fact they flushed their brothers head down the toilet will work against them.

A toy, a toy poop, and another toy

From the outset, this looks like your average Christmas list. There are toys, there are animals, and there are… talking poops called Jumanji? If the lady wants it, she gets it.

I’ll call you Santa, but I won’t be cool about it

There are those that believe, and there are those that don’t. That’s totally cool, but when those who don’t believe try to believe, it all gets a little passive aggressive.

You wanted a Christmas list, right?

Note to self: Don’t ask adults to write a letter to Santa. They no longer want toys, they no longer want dinosaurs, and they no longer want to give you cookies and feed reindeer carrots.

Knives for a child… that seems safe

Although the knives are worrying, we can’t help but wonder why anyone would need a light for under their trampoline? How would that aid your jumping capabilities? We’ll never know.

There’s a clause to this, Claus

It’s always good to ask Santa how he’s been because he leads a very busy lifestyle. It’s also important to be specific about your requirements, including a baby Jesus. Not a real one though.

Thanks, be prepared for more next year

Although we all believe that Santa exists (right?), we do have a few questions for him, because he is a slight enigma. Thankfully, we don’t have to think them up, because this kid has got them all sorted.

I just wish you could take a break, Santa

There are some people who don’t like Santa, but there are others who only have his best interests at heart. Skye Finlay is one of those kids, and we’re sure Santa appreciates the sentiments.

Hey, you up for tacos? Because we’re up for tacos

We all have certain things we want in life, and Christmas is the time to pluck up the courage. It probably took a lot for this kid to ask for hand sanitizer.

I know Santa is a fraud, give it up

There’s nothing worse than stumbling across a child who has lost faith in Santa, but you should probably keep your elves close to you because this kid is coming for them.

This year is simple, next year not so much

This kid is right. Santa is a busy guy, which is probably why he appreciates a short and simple letter that plainly states what the kid wants. There’s even a drawing to boot.

I hope there’s enough Christmas spirit

Thanks to little ladies like Maya, there’s always going to be enough Christmas spirit to make Santa’s sleigh work. It just has to work, especially when Santa has had too much whiskey. That’s rough.

Getting that five-a-day at Christmas

It’s hilarious to look back at your old Christmas letters to Santa, and we have a feeling Harriet may now be regretting this list. A mushroom? Broccoli? Vegetables at Christmas? What was she thinking?!

Well, at least Austin is honest

Although Austin admits that he has been naughty, honesty has to count for something, right? He still wants a remote control LEGO train, so if Santa could get on that, that would be great.

Colored candy canes and cats

Sydney sounds like a girl after our own hearts because this is an epic Christmas list. We also admire her tenacity, because if you want money, you simply have to try and ask for it.

Getting your holiday a little mixed up

If you can’t quite read what this says, it says, “Dear Santa, I believe in you more than Hanukkah.” Yikes, that’s gotta hurt. However, we do appreciate the two angels and the… coffin?

I need a little more magic in my stocking

It seems as though everyone wants their two front teeth for Christmas this year, and we hope that Santa will be more than willing to become a part-time dentist for the holiday season.

I’m your number one fan, but Lauren isn’t

Sibling rivalry can often come into play when you’re writing your Christmas letter to Santa because there’s nothing worse than seeing your sibling with a better gift than you. Trust us.

Make sure you leave on time, Santa

One of the biggest fears of any child is to wake up and see Santa Claus coming down the chimney because it just ruins the magic. Thankfully, this kid has the right idea.

I’ve never even seen a reindeer eye to eye!

We have to feel sorry for Lilli because all she wants is to see Rudolph alive and in the flesh. Does Santa ever listen to her? No, he doesn’t. He needs to buck his ideas up.

What do I want for Christmas?

We can only assume that Finn is an adult because, with bills to pay and rent due in a week, it would be nice to be gifted everything in existence. You know, if Santa was kind enough.

Yep, because that’s what I said

When you read through this letter to Santa, you’ll first be struck by how adorable it is. Then you’ll be struck by the fact that whoever wrote this was essentially having a conversation with themselves…

Giving Santa the option of what to eat

Santa has countless houses to get to every Christmas Eve. It must be hungry work, which is why we can imagine Hailie’s letter filled him with joy. Obviously, he went for the brownies.

Giving away one of his own

We all know that Santa’s reindeer are his pride and joy, so we have to wonder how he dealt with this request. Would he give Alexander one of his reindeer? Would he not?

Humans on a shelf, coming to a shelf near you

Most kids ask for toys or material objects for Christmas – but not these two. These kids want to become an elf on the shelf and a reindeer, and that’s pretty darn cool.

P.S I better get it too!

There are certain things that Santa can do that regular humans can’t do, but we have a feeling that creating a rainbow unicorn that poops ice cream may be a little too difficult for him.

It’s time to stop picking on Valentine, kids

This is perhaps one of the most adorable letters we’ve read, and we just want to give Valentine a hug. Either that or a book that has multiple explosions in it.

Maddie’s Christmas list has got it going on

Maddie is definitely the kind of girl that we could be friends with because she is asking for all of the right things. Maybe she’d go halves on the one billion, trillion, million dollars?

There are just so many questions?

Jenna’s letter to Santa is just making us question everything. Does she want to impress the boys? Does she want to walk a puppy? Does she want a hamster? We just don’t know.

Well, I should really get to the point

Although it’s always good to throw a little chit-chat into the mix, sometimes you just need to get straight to the point with Santa. This kid knows what they want, and they want it now.

Who knew you didn’t need a drink for a banana?

Yikes. Santa had a tough crowd at this house. Instead of rocking up to a mince pie and brandy, all he got was a lousy banana. Not even a drink to go with it.

Most likely a soldier in the making

If you’re a little worried that you don’t quite know what your child likes, it’s always a good idea to look at their Christmas list. There’s certainly a recurring theme with this kid.

Because the stocking and actual gifts are different

Everyone knows that you have two different types of gifts at Christmas time. You have the gifts that go in the stocking, and those that are proper gifts. Carter knows what’s up.

Is 39 things too much?

Jaclyn Ferrell is the kind of lady who is not going to take any mess from anyone. She wants 39 items, and she wants Santa to come and get the list himself. Oh, she also wants it to snow.

Time to get the best of both worlds

We have a feeling that Santa knew what to get Ashley this year. She obviously wanted merchandise from The Wizards of Waverly Place. She couldn’t have been more blatant if she tried.

And then some magical mermaid, please

Mairi didn’t want a lot for Christmas. She just wanted something to play music, something to bake cookies on, and some magical mermaid. It’s really not that much to ask for, is it?

Getting the need for speed

From the looks of it, Madden is definitely not old enough to be driving a Ferrari around the streets, but he’s definitely getting the need for speed. If Porter doesn’t want the penguin, we’ll have it.

That’s a whole lot of lols

We don’t know who this kid is, but we have a feeling they already know who Santa is. After all, they seem to have some form of inside joke that makes this make sense. We’ll leave them to it.

Time for the interpreter

If you’re a teacher, you’ll know that it’s sometimes difficult to interpret what a child means by their drawings. Thankfully, this one was able to work out exactly what this girl wanted for Christmas that year.

Because Blitzen is always left out

Many people often forget that the reindeer also do a lot of work on Christmas eve, but this kid decided to reassure Santa about his animals – especially Blitzen. He always gets left out.

Everyone wants the gossip

When it comes to Santa Claus, we all pretend to be his friend, but we really just want to be the one to snap him. We want proof that he exists, and we want to sell it for millions. Right?

Two onesies and my childhood back

This kid has got it right. Nowadays, children don’t appreciate their childhood, and they only realize what they’ve lost until it’s gone. This kid is trying to change that, one onesie at a time.

Getting a little disappointed

For those of you that can’t decipher what this said, this little guy is actually asking Santa for $13 million. Although we all want that amount of money, we won’t be getting it.

Thanks so much, from Sarah

We’re not convinced that this is a kid. Sarah is really a college student, isn’t she? The Taylor Swift tickets, the Nordstrom clothing, and the boyfriend. This screams college boredom and college debt.

Do you think she likes Moana?

Although it’s clear to see that this little cherub did not write her own Christmas list, it’s also clear to see that she loves Moana. Who doesn’t want all of the Moana merchandise ever created?

Number one on list: Attitude adjustment

When you don’t know whether you believe in Santa or not, it can be difficult to write your letter to him. Are you loving, or are you blunt? Nicole met herself in the middle.

I love you so much, Santa

There’s nothing better than to see kids just being kids and loving life. You can tell that this is the case for this bundle of joy because they just want Santa to know that they love him.

A well-rounded gift selection

Although there are many kids who stick to a theme when it comes to their presents, there are also others who like to choose a little of everything. Like this kid and his giraffe.

And say hi to Mrs. Claus for me!

There are some kids who ask Santa for everything under the North Pole in their stockings, but this little cutie decided to write a different kind of letter. How adorable is this?!

At least that makes one of us

Tara is such a good girl, and she never cries when she does her chores. We give her exactly three years before that comes to an end. Prepare for the tears, Tara!

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